From an article originally posted December 11, 2012…
Who remembers the Bill Murray movie, What About Bob? Remember the scene where Bob is tied to the mast of the sailboat and he keeps screaming, I’M SAILING! I felt like that yesterday. All day I kept thinking, I’M CLEANING! I’M DRIVING! I’M IN TARGET! I know it sounds ridiculous, and I certainly had opportunity to do some of these things along this journey, but with each new day I feel such gratitude for the ability to do more, and a greater gratitude that I don’t have to go back into the chemo room again. Last night, Jason was able to go to an elders’ meeting without anxiety about leaving me home with the kids. The kids were in bed at 7:30 and I was asleep by 8, but we made it. He came home tickled with the good night. He didn’t notice the messy house; he noticed a mama back in business.
When I first heard my diagnosis, one of my biggest fears was how my kids would react to having such a sick mama. I feared their withdrawal, but this has brought the opposite. I thought they would be afraid of my bald head, but in the midst of most snuggles the kids have gotten in the habit of rubbing and kissing my head. This morning, Lake and I were snuggled in and Jason went to take a picture, Lake immediately turned to give my head a kiss. This was God’s answers to one of my biggest fears. Thank you!
