from an article originally posted September 10, 2014…
It felt like an impossible day to get through. But we made it. We cried hot tears. My girlfriends stood by and watched through tears, but they showed up. They were there. And a thousand more would have come if I had asked. Just to smile at me through my tears. And in the smiling, letting me know it’s going to be okay. Somehow, it will be okay.
from an article originally posted September 9, 2014…
The news today wasn’t great. It was devastating, but we are not without options. I will give details when we are ready. But today, we have today. So I walk into it seeking goodness.... And guess what? It’s there. Today, I could move. I could spend my energy cooking for my loves, my friends, my people. I could cry a big ugly cry, and my deepest grief was heard. I could cry out my brokenness, and I could cook.
from an article originally posted September 7, 2014…
I had my first big chemo, we took pictures, then ran away for a week. It was a hard pill to swallow seeing me meet that bottom again. But we know how to manage it. But who really wants to be managing awful? We want to be living! On the day my big chemo started, they started my 2-week cycle of oral chemo. I had learned to live through the haze of their yuck, but on top of the giant chemo, well, I met my bottom. Jason and I know this dance. I fight for good moments on bad days. Often, I don’t remember the good moments and need reminding of them. And my people are gracious to remind me.
from an article originally posted September 5, 2014…
Each day presents each of us living with a choice. It is often hard to choose well. We are so regularly caught in the flow of our going, we fail to see the choices presented to each of us in our living. Most of our choices consist of attitude choices, living choices, choices to live in a hardened, bitter state or a grateful, soft state. If we are honest the battle for these attitudes is fierce.
from an article originally posted August 31, 2014…
I’m back to the face-down days I knew 2 years ago. It hurts to lose moments, memories, sweet tender times in the haze of drugs. My dear neighbor came over and reminded me of our conversation, which had vanished from my mind. Blaaaaaa
I quietly rested my head beside my guy last night and whispered my fears to him, What if all this hard isn’t working? His face mirrored my fears. This battle is so painful. We long, long, long to know all this hard is working.
