from an article originally posted August 19, 2014…

Dear Cancer,

There are a few things I’d like to say to you this morning. A lot of what I want to say is salty and ugly, but I will do my best to use the nice words and not the ones that often get dropped too easily around my house. Cancer, you are and always have been an unwelcome guest in the home of me. But I thought we could work it out, I thought we could fight on Tuesday, you would see I kept house poorly and you would leave. We planned on that. We worked on that. I fought to not hate you as you took unwelcome residence in my body.

from an article originally posted August 6, 2014...

I awoke early, early this morning. Eyes wide open, I tried to attempt to fall back into the slumber I had been enjoying. Dreams have returned to my sleeping moments, and I so love a great dream. I started to think through my retreat talks and my mind took off. Then, all at once, I heard the blessing of the crackle of a pull-up walking to my side of the bed. I looked upon the sweet face of my youngest and simply said, I was hoping you would come. She smiled up at my face and crawled to her spot between Jason and me. I smothered her face with kisses and hoped she would stay awake with me at 4am. Sadly, or not sadly, she reentered a contented sleep beside me—arms tightly gripping my neck and one leg draped over me. Soon her grasp loosened and she fell back into deep sleep with my guy deeply breathing and enjoying sleep beside me. Both of them sleeping soundly, I decided to make my way downstairs.

from an article originally posted August 4, 2014...

Something in my heart knew this week at church would be something different. Jason was living near to his heart last week. We enjoyed the beauty of a lot of shared tears throughout the week. We wondered over our story in a new way. We let ourselves look upon our story in a way we had avoided. I can tell when Jason is uneasy with a sermon—it’s going to be my favorite. Before he went to preach, I turned to him and asked him how he was feeling; he was already in tears. He simply looked at me and said, I feel very raw today.

from an article originally posted July 29, 2014...

Oh my soul, last night was a great, good night. My smile never faded. I enjoyed Lyle Lovett so much. His voice, his way, his story telling—it was simply an amazing night. I kept thinking last night of a quote from Ann Voskamp: Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respecter of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time’s swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here.