From an article originally posted November 18, 2013…
Last week a dear friend texted me some hard questions asking about my heart. Blythe is a warrior friend who bravely asks hard questions, and gently and lovingly listens to my answers without judgment. Last week she asked me many questions that brought needful tears, but her last question has stayed with me. It has grown in my heart and become my prayer. Just as I was writing this, my sweet baby woke upset with a sadness only her mama could calm. Now I hear her peaceful sleep beside me. The question that was asked was, What does my heart hunger for?
I answered in one word and my tears came: time.
Time to hold hands
Time to hear a heart
Time to share my faith
Time to quiet an upset heart
Time to see young love
Time to walk with another suffering
Time to listen
Time to talk
Time for playground girlfriends
Time to giggle
And time to fall apart
Time to comfort the sick
Time for birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and goodbyes
Time for coffee next to my man
Time for wrinkles and gray hair
Time with kids old enough to enjoy coffee or wine or a well crafted beer
Time with young mamas sharing fears
Time with old mothers sharing wisdom
Time for puddle jumping and book reading
Time for a fire and a good fiction
Time to spend the day cooking something slowly and well
Time to worship and hear my children praising
Time to match socks
Time to see my daughters mascara faces
Time to see which quirks tag along with my children
Time to teach manners
Time for vacation
Time for heartbreak
Time to climb mountains
Time for camping trips and hot fires
Time for inappropriate jokes
Time for homecomings
Time for painted nails and bruised knees
Time to champion the preaching of my guy
Time to meet every new guest in our community
Time to share a grilled cheese
Time to walk on the beach
Time for sister lunches and scrunchy-nosed laughing
Time to make a wreath
Time to see a car die and drive a different old car
Time to know Jason as a grandpa
Time to know Ella, Harper Joy, Lake, and Story Jane grown
Time to see a cure
Time for hurt and reconciliation
Time to write a book
Time to love
Time to love
Time to love
Time to see mercy new
I could go on forever, but the truth is, I’ve been given eternity. With that truth, I can peacefully and tearfully rest tonight. God has been very good to this mama. But I will continue to pray for more time. In the meantime, I will treasure each moment as an answer to the prayer of more time here. Each breath is an amen.
