Big Love

Kara’s Collection: Peaceful Presence—The Battle for Holiday Joy

Kara’s Collection: Peaceful Presence—The Battle for Holiday Joy

from an article originally posted November 30, 2014…

Presence over presents. I heard a beautiful mama speaking about the difference between these two while home in Indiana last week. Today is the beginning of Advent and I want so much for this holiday season to be meaningful. I want to love my people well, not through the purchasing of the right stuff, but the gentle loving of the hearts in my home. Stuff—well, that will fade, but love—that never ends. So how do we love well and fight the ugly heart of comparison over the holiday season? Don’t get me wrong; I love gift giving, but I think there is so much more for us over Christmas than searching out and finding the perfect gifts...

Kara’s Collection: The Hard Journey of Chemo by Jill Buteyn

Kara’s Collection: The Hard Journey of Chemo by Jill Buteyn

from an article originally posted November 19, 2014…

Yesterday was my first day going to chemo with Kara. The day started out rough—the trouble sliding over from the day before. Kara posted this update on her personal Facebook page: Life is hard.

She deserves to post that update a million times a day.

Kara’s Collection: The Beautiful Rough Road

Kara’s Collection: The Beautiful Rough Road

from an article originally posted October 27, 2014…

Waiting, waiting, I have been waiting to feel better. I keep looking around the corner of this disease to find the sunrise of normal to rise. Yesterday, I turned to Jason and asked him what it felt like to feel normal. I asked him what if felt like to not feel weak. I feel like I’m starting to forget. Instead of embracing the moment of feeling a bit better, I’m beginning to panic over the coming treatment. But I remember enough of normal living and loving to long, long, long for a day of normal. I plan normal days, dream of events where we are all present and strong. Not huge strong, but sweet walk-on-a-fall-day strong, sit-by-a-fire-with-a-book strong, laughter-through-tears strong. He turned to me and said, I forget normal too; I have a wife with cancer.

Kara’s Collection: Future love—the art of cherishing life

Kara’s Collection: Future love—the art of cherishing life

from an article originally posted October 23, 2014…

Since the birth of my first daughter, I have written my journals in light of them one day being read. They are simply a family history. The small, silly moments captured, the hard journey in life we have traveled. The honest assessment of each day. So I have journal after journal capturing the essence of our life. One day soon I will reread them to remember those exhausted, amazing days of life with my littles. It was important writing, because in the midst of sleep deprivation, it’s hard to remember. I look forward to revisiting those most precious years I captured in my journals. One day my children may want to read that journey. Maybe not, but it will be there for them. I was always careful to journal with freedom. Some weeks I would write and write, some months the entire month would pass before I would write. But I gave myself freedom.

Kara’s Collection: Big Love

Kara’s Collection: Big Love

from an article originally posted October 18, 2014…

How do you love when you are at the bottom of yourself? The last gulp of a drink you feel tentative to swallow? How do you swallow that last gulp of life and fight to live it well? I’m struggling today, and I knew it would be a hard one. Chemo brings a low that I struggle with words to describe. And on top of the yucks, pain seems to be growing. And with the growing pain is the growing knowledge that my cancer is likely growing. To say it’s discouraging, well, that word feels simple.