If you're new here, you may want to subscribe via email here or via my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!Since the birth of my first daughter, I have written my journals in light of them one day being read. They are simply a family history. The small, silly moments captured, the hard journey in life we have traveled. The honest assessment of each day. So I have journal after journal capturing the essence of our life. One day soon I will reread them to remember those exhausted, amazing,...

I have today, and I’m spending it beside my loves. I’m tasting and knowing the goodness of family. I am fighting to enjoy the moments shared with loves. But each day, as I wake to new mercies, I also wake to new pain, new places that feel to be hardening. The daily fight to find the grace when the story of me is fading. I can loose my peace when I think too far into the future. I can suffocate if I wonder how many more days I’ll be granted. I can shatter into a puddle if I begin to wonder over the coming holidays. But...

I’m considering a new book. I want to write a book about capturing the big little moments of life. The hand held, the time spent reading together, the little loves that when faced with death have become the giant important moments in my life. The time praying together, laughing together, cooking together and crying together. They add up to a life well lived. The little, big moments are simply the best of life. The important little mundane moments that added together make...

Tonight I could not get comfortable. I still cannot get comfortable- that’s why I opened my screen to write down this memory. My hips are hurting- cancer shooting pain in new directions. I tried to fall asleep on my stomach-no dice. So I moved to my back and draped my leg over my guy. He reached out for my hand and quickly fell into a gentle sleep. It’s been a long day for him. The ebb and flow of his comfortable sleep is a gift I cherish. He has earned his sweet rest. All...

How do you love when you are at the bottom of yourself? The last gulp of a drink you feel tentative to swallow? How do you swallow that last gulp of life and fight to live it well. I’m struggling today, and I knew it would be a hard one. Chemo brings a low that I struggle with words to describe. And on top of the yucks, pain seems to be growing. And with the growing pain is the growing knowledge that my cancer is likely growing. To say it’s discouraging, well that...

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