My dearest Carl came for a visit yesterday and shared this verse with me yesterday about how precious to God is the death of His saints. It was beautiful. I sat quieted, we prayed, and I returned to the Psalm today. 

Look after that verse- the response to the beautiful salvation provided being plucked up by the love of God- a sacrifice of thanksgiving….. What is that? What does it look like to sacrifice thanksgiving? It seems to involve intention. For David, he had a heart bent on loving and thanking God. The dancing king. Oh David- how did you do it? How do I do it well? 

I love Ann Voskamp for many, many reasons- but I think she gets this better than most. That the naming, the identifying, the seeking and proclaiming thanks is what this sacrifice of thanksgiving is for us. When we live in thanks- our hearts are light. When we live in thanks we reflect the goodness we know, the bounty, the provision. When we live in thanks we receive the love given knowing we are undeserving vessels, but thanks shouts- I SEE THE GRACE BEING POURED OUT!  Thank you, thank you, thank you! 

Today, I whisper thanks for so many things from the corner of my bed. I hear my mom and friend baking with my littles. Thank you. I know my second born is enjoying the giggles of girlfriends that are safe and delightful. Thank you. I sit now next to my oldest who named the ways that I love her that encourage her heart. Thank you. A kind woman from hospice came and prayed with me today. Thank you. Jason is returning to a bit of a normal schedule at work. Thank you.

Very specifically- today is the day my seester Jonna Anne came into this world. The one that knows the depth and breadth of my story. My matron of honor, my safe place, the one that finds my giggles in the middle of endless hours of vomit. The one that will shower my tired body after days in a hospital bed. My sister, my partner in life, my first girlfriend, the keeper of all my secrets, the tender carrier of my story past my last moment. The one that will make sure the true story is told to my littles. I cannot know what it is to watch a sister die, but I know what it is to be treasured by a sister while dying, and today it is my loudest, most sincere- THANK YOU JESUS. What a gift Jonna is in the life of so many- but I’m the only one that gets to know her as sister. Thank you Jesus for that gift. Thank you. Now Jonna- won't you please find a jet plane that will bring you to my side so I can properly love you and celebrate you? (heee, heee- she’s actually coming soon- I know I have to say this because one of you sweet souls would find a plane to bring her here- that’s how big y'all love).

For so many moments, big and small. Thank you. Yesterday- you provided strength for me to take special pictures. Thank you. Jen Lints- thank you. 

What is your sacrifice of thanksgiving today? What would be a sacrifice in thanks look like to you? I love thinking on it- sacrifice of thanks. I think it means effort. I want to spend my last days in the sweet effort of gratitude. What better way could I spend my last breaths than in thanksgiving. Carl thank you for bringing this Psalm to my attention.