from an article originally posted October 3, 2014…

Yesterday was hard. Harder than I remember. But I made it through. I had remembered the man that made the mask was kind. Brent helped me stay calm, and spoke of Jesus and kindness to get me through. The mask is tough, tight, and it’s clipped onto the table. The second time around felt harder. I was talking myself off a steep cliff yesterday. But I just whispered quiet prayers and prayed the time would quickly pass. Oh time, I want it so much to slow, but it’s screaming by me. Then I get in a mask, pinned down, and time moves like molasses.

Oh, the snorts of my life. The endless snorts. They are awful and they are a gift of modern medicine.

This is the face of this battle. These are the hard moments on good days.

But then it was done. And Brent and I were talking about Jesus. It mattered. We found laughter on a hard day. But it is hard. Next week I will be pinned to a table and the shooting rays will work to kill the cancer in my brain. It’s crazy, it’s amazing, it’s scary, and it will give me more breaths. So I walk through and not around the hard. Through and not around—around is sometimes so tempting. Around sometimes looks so appealing.

Friends, would you please pray for me. I am speaking at a retreat on Saturday. It’s my version of a marathon. There are a team of ladies to help shepherd me through the day. I have felt called to this retreat for almost a year. With each new diagnosis, one of my first thoughts was always, I still think I’m called to do this retreat. My dear Terra and I would text. She would hear the new news, and I would simply text, I may not be here, but I feel I’m supposed to do the retreat. She would text and respond that she felt the same. I love her for her diligent work on this weekend. I love her for her confidence in this broken lady. I simply just love Terra Fisk because of how beautifully Jesus made her. But please do pray for me Saturday, pray for the ladies in attendance, pray we would all see Jesus. It will be a long and wonderful day.